Thursday, May 13, 2004

Now even Alfalfa is putting distance between himself and the rest of Bush's Our Gang.

While Atrios hops into the Wayback Machine to dig up choice Tucker quotes, let's review what we learn about Carlson from this piece:

Tucker Carlson, CNN’s 34-year-old paleo-yuppie pundit guy — Robert Novak’s right-wing apple-polisher on Crossfire — will launch his own half-hour talk show on PBS on June 18. That’s right, PBS—dybbuk to the right, enemy to four Republican administrations, broadcaster of the Watergate and Iran-contra hearings.

They’re calling it Tucker Carlson: Unfiltered.

Was Mr. Carlson actually filtered up until now?

"No," Mr. Carlson told NYTV, but "basically, I want a place where if you’ve got an opinion that you think is right, but a little out of step with the mainstream, and you’re embarrassed to express it, you feel comfortable expressing it on this show."

Translation: Tucker is a big honkin' coward.

If a pundit expresses an unpopular opinion, but no one is there to hear it because it's on PBS, does it make a sound?

This is my favorite bit, though:

Mr. Carlson was beginning to sound a bit like former Nixon speechwriter and Crossfire alum Pat Buchanan, another righty who has been an opponent of the war. In the past, said Mr. Carlson, he had made some unfair attacks against Mr. Buchanan, and he was feeling guilty about that, too.

"Buchanan is a perfect example of somebody who’s been name-called into oblivion," he said. "And I did some of that. I definitely called Pat a lot of names. And I feel bad about that. I think he deserved some of those names. On the other hand, calling people names is a way of ignoring what they’re saying. It’s actually an outrage, and I actually feel really bad about my role in that."

What kind of names?

"I wrote two different pieces calling him an anti-Semite," said Mr. Carlson. "And while he may be an anti-Semite, I would say, in Buchanan’s case, not all his ideas are crazy."

Tucker feels bad for calling the anti-Semite an anti-Semite, because he doesn't want to marginalize him. I don't suppose it occured to him (or rather, his gigantic raging ego) that perhaps Buchanen may have marginalized himself by, I don't know, being anti-Semitic?

Poor Tucker. He sounds so lost and forlorn without the Kool-Aid to prop up his spirits. Don't you just want to run up and give him a great big hug?

No, wait, not 'hug', what's the word... oh, right, 'ass-kicking'.

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